DISCIPLINE is my focus word for 2025.
Listening to Ryan Holiday in my earbuds working out on the Sunday morning ahead of the new year, I heard him tell me to pick a word for the upcoming year. It could be anything that speaks to you - that rounds out the theme of what you want to accomplish in the weeks ahead. It's the word when you hear it in your head gets you back on track even when no one is around and no one is looking. It's the word that you need in this moment and in this year.
For me, it's DISCIPLINE. It's what kept me on track to get my workout completed along with the 300 rotations on my jump rope that I almost talked myself out of ... the 15-minutes of yoga to round out my workout that I almost skipped ... the writing that I want to do every morning.
This photo reminds me of a time that I was really dialed in and in my happy place. We had just come back from Hawaii - I'd spend a lot of time in the Pacific Ocean rejuvenating and everything was flowing. I like starting the year with a photo of myself because that's all I want to focus on. I don't care what anyone else is really doing - and I'm not looking to compare myself to anyone else.
My current take on discipline does not have to have the negative connotation that my brain has created around it over the years - to me it means sticking to my plan and not getting pulled away by distractions. It also means finally making the PHONE FOYER technique stick. From Cal Newport (see more notes on him below) - this is the concept that your phone should never be glued to your side. Have a spot in the foyer for it to sit and go to it when you need something. Don't let it lead you. I tried this out in 2024, it sometimes worked but I was not consistent in the afternoons. This year is also about CONSISTENCY.
What's holding me back from really locking it all in?
It's a question I ask myself every year around the Holidays. To me, resolutions are like a lighthouse on a foggy night - to be used as a beacon to better navigate. But, the real work is in the daily tasks that often seem too mundane to want to do in the moment. Why would I pull that book out to read when it would be so easy to turn the TV on and watch a couple episodes of Shark Tank - my latest obsession. It's something that I had to reconcile within myself this past year.
Like many others, I'm often jazzed by the idea of the thing - but not so excited when it comes to actually getting that thing done. Not so excited about the process. So, in 2024 I resolved again to get excited about the process - because in tackling the process is the real and deep change. And I got excited about changing the way I identify myself internally. No longer am I that scattered and disorganized creative - I am strong, resilient, capable, and organized. I remember names - I pay bills on time, sometimes even early. I get things done immediately. At least that's what I tell myself and am starting to do!
The past year was proving this to myself as well. Change had to start at my core. While I know I give off a good impression online and in my posts ... there are so many things I question about myself. Am I really good enough? Am I worth it? Is the work worth it? Why am I working so hard and spinning my wheels when others are soaring seemingly effortlessly? Am I too old? Especially since I feel like I wasted so much time when I was younger.
We were an immigrant family working hard to make ends meet. I didn't have a lot of daily home guidance or reminders. My husband - who grew up similarly - and I sometimes look at each other in shock that we made it. Our families were both wonderful, but we were not the upper echelon of doctors' kids or independently wealthy like others in the Indian and outside communities around us. Our fathers' were engineers who in the 70s, 80s, and 90s lost their jobs about every other year and had to scramble to survive. I personally strove to attend an Ivy League school - even got into my dream school - only to be told we could not afford it. It created this chip on my shoulder - but it also created a bit of a victim mentality - which I'm not proud to admit, but I think is essential to my story. None of that matters anymore. I actually think the lack of my ideal degree drove me to work harder, to be scrappier, and more resourceful - once I understood that it was my hidden superpower.
I have to constantly shake that feeling that I am not good enough, liked, or worthy of success. It's the negative voice in my head that I used to listen to, but I now squash it like the bug that it is. And do what Mel Robbins suggests ... 'Let them!' If someone is going to think something negative about me - I have to let them because I cannot change it and I can't drag myself down with the weight of it. That's their journey.
In 2024 I stopped it with one response: "I am worth it - this is worth it."
No more justifying and no more internal drama. And, I focussed on something that was critical to my success - to understand that no matter the revenue stream - what I am doing is absolutely as important as someone making a ton more cash. Why did I need to remind myself of this? Because in our Indian community so much of the focus is still on how much you make from what you do.
I have had friends in my community and family point blank ask me, 'Do you make money from your books?' I have had them refer to my platform, my work, and my mission as a 'hobby.' It's the way they ask and the tone they use. It's demeaning and used to be hurtful, but for me no longer do I let ignorance get to me. That's on them to figure out.
I am a sound business owner - I do believe you have to show monetary return, but I also think that revenue in dollars is not absolutely everything every step of the way - you need it and you need to account for it, but there's often a build up to it. I used to drop my writing in mid-sentence to help one of my kids out, make lunch for the hubby, grab a phone call. No more. I do all of the above, but if I am in the middle of a thought and/or a project - this blog post even, I finish it. I know that it's as important as my husband's job in finance which will always have a different return on investment (ROI) than my company. And, that's okay. I've written four cookbooks and they are helping many people learn to cook Indian food in a way they've never done before, and are helping preserve so many food memories for kids in our community - and that's something. So, now I tell my inner voice to 'knock it off'!
I had a to do a lot of work on myself this past year. First was to dig deep and understand why I was resistant to being organized and doing things on time. For most people, that would seem logical. But, for me and the way I was raised - in a very regimented environment - it felt like rules meant discipline and discipline from my experience meant a militant demeanor coupled with a lot of yelling. It did not have positive connotations and so I resisted being organized at every turn. I would often resist reading things and dealing with them right away because in the past an email, a letter, a note, was often negative or filled with bad news. Now that I realize this, I can overcome it. Being organized also felt boring. Like I was letting my creative side down in some way. But, the reality is, when you are organized, know where things are, don't spend hours searching for them, well, there is more time to do the things that are more meaningful.
To be clear, I do not believe in REINVENTING myself. It irritates me to no end, for example, when I go to a make-up counter for an eyeliner and all of a sudden they are telling me everything that is wrong with my face and skin, and in the same breathe trying to sell me hundreds of dollars worth of supplies. My suggestion is, if you listen to an 'influencer' who tells you to change everything kick them to the curb. You are doing GREAT. What you likely need is small changes and tweaks to get you to the next level. No lasting change lasts with HUGE moves. Take the PRESSURE OFF, folks. It does not help. Nor does it help to keep you on track and motivated.
Here are a few other things that I get into my days and that I will continue to improve upon in 2025 - remember, this is a journey.
The first thing I did in 2024 was start to kick my phone and news (TV) addiction (and it is that) to the curb in the morning with a rule that I would not look at social media, news, or any personal messages until 2 pm. I do check my phone for texts - how my family reaches me for an emergency. Instead, I took to listening to podcasts during my workouts. It made me happier and it taught me a little something that I could implement immediately. I also focussed on reading more. I want to read every single day, but I admit that I'm not there yet. So, I'll save it for 2025.
But, I did manage to read a few key books that made the last few years really strong. ATOMIC HABITS by James Clear and DEEP WORK by Cal Newport. What I liked best about Atomic Habits is that it's a functional book on habits - how to really get them locked in rather than a hooray book about good habits. I know what I need to do, but I needed help actually doing it. Cal Newport is downright fab. His podcast is filled with practical solutions to getting at life. One of things he discusses and I implemented was life changing. He suggests getting everything out of your head into one document. So, I created a Google Doc to do just that.
All my to-dos are in one doc and as I get to them I delete them rather than let them sit in emails or in my head. I've also created Docs to store messages by category. In my HOME doc I list everything to do with home: Doctors, Auto, Insurance, etc. etc. All the relevant info is one spot and whenever we come back from an appointment the results and the to-dos go right into that one spot so that I can reference back. Say a doctor emails me with something to update a visit or conversation, instead of simply filing that email I will add that info to the doc and then file the email or delete it. Listen to Cal. He's brilliant.
Also listen to Dr. WILLIAM LI on health and nutrition. I truly love how he links food to health in a humble, nonjudgmental way and often talks about how he's changed his mind on things over the years, including the negative affects of microplastics on our health.
Say no to more. Take on less obligations. Stack tasks. Create systems for everything. Everything in its place. Get things done. You can only get things done by doing them completely. You have to build confidence within yourself and with yourself that you are someone who keeps your promises to yourself.
I often get anxious when I have a lot to do in a day because I'd become accustomed to wasting precious moments in my day grabbing for my phone and randomly checking social media. Instead of doing that - do the things that make you feel really whole and good. Cal Newport suggests that every time you are tempted to grab your phone and scroll have a preconceived plan on how you will replace that action with something else. It could be read your book, practice a foreign language, write in your journal ... whatever. Let yourself get pulled into something else. By doing this, you'll realize how many times you reach for your phone for absolutely no reason at all.
Salvage those little specs of time - I call them flecks of sand. But, you can only do that if you create the system where the preferred habit is easy and convenient. Have a book by your bedside, make sure that language book you want to get through is on the kitchen table, know where your journal is at all times.
My goal for my home is to find a place for every item, and put every item in its place. It's not easy to do, but it's essential for me to be able to write more and create more in my kitchen. When things are messy and topsy turvy I don't really want to start that recipe or even eat well. For me, the sense of clean space starts in the kitchen.
For about three years now I have primarily used cloth napkins and dish towels in the kitchen and dining room - so no paper towels. I wash all my towels regularly, including my dish scrubbers. The company I purchase from is a small business called Dot & Army - the quality of their products and fabrics is unmatched. Their dish scrubbies are extra special. No more disgusting yellow and green sponges that sit, collect bacteria, and then load up landfills. Their scrub brushies are hearty enough to wash your dishes and then can be thrown in your washing machine and then can sit out to dry. They eventually wear out - but mine have lasted me over a year.
GLASS
Whether you want to acknowledge it or not - microplastics in our drinking water, our foods, and our clothing that touches our skin are a thing. They can wreak havoc on our health, so in 2025 my goal is to reduce microplastics around me and my food. I have glass containers in which I store everything in my fridge, including veggies, salads, and leftovers. Never microwave in plastic. Use loose tea not teabags - the bags are made from nylon and other plastic materials that release microplastics as soon as hot water hits them. Buy things either in metal or in glass, including spices.
Even when washing your dishes and clothes you have to be thoughtful of the microplastic contaminants, why this year I switched my dish detergent pods to ones from BLUELAND. The detergent cubes they sell have no outer plastic shell. My husband rolls his eyes when I ask him where the plastic goes post dishwashing - but I am going to always ask these questions. Less is better. The nice thing about these pods? They do get your dishes clean. I'm a convert - so trust me when I say, give it a try. I have not tried their other products, but feel free to comment below if you have.
FRAGRANCE
I'm all about less of it. Manufactured fragrance, candles, even incense can affect your lungs and your overall health. Find products that are more natural - essential oils, etc. Again, without losing your mind. Slow and steady is key and always when purchasing things look at the ingredients. It's really tough, because candles are something my kids love to light when they are studying, but again, do your research and do what's best for you and your family.
MAKEUP
I discovered these Makeup Erasers shopping at Costco and never looked back. They are incredible. Microfiber pads that help take off makeup easily without the waste and the chemicals from wipes on my skin. You can use with water or do as I do and keep a natural liquid makeup remover handy, apply it to the pad, and then wipe. After I am done, I simply throw them into my washing machine for a quick clean.
Daily movement to me is essential for so many reasons. While exercise does not necessarily drive weight loss (one workout out a day can't make up for a runaway diet), what it does for me first thing in the morning is it sets the pace for the rest of the day. If I move for at least 30 minutes every morning then I tend to follow with the right daily choices. I drink more water, I want to eat healthier, I am motivated to sweep my back porch, I'm motivated to stay away from the processed sugar.
In 2024 I literally managed to move in some way intentionally daily by making workouts super easy. My husband and I workout together - so if one of us wants to skip, the other pushes to go. And, we canceled our gym membership to opt for the gym in our condo building. It's a good, basic gym. And, I canceled my personal trainer to use YouTube videos. It's simple. Monday is full-body weights, sprints on Tuesday, Wednesday legs with weights, Thursday long run, Friday arms with weights, Sat. a short run, and another long run on Sunday. It's a goal, but I'm happy to just get there and do something.
The videos I use are by Heather Robinson. They are free and honestly they are absolutely good enough. I also found a 15-minute yoga routine that I memorized and get that in as well. It's absolutely good enough! And my body is not only responding, I'm feeling better than ever. If I miss my workout for some reason, I make sure to do 25 squats, a long walk, or whatever else to cross 'intentional movement' off my list for the day.
In 2025 my plan is to take it to the next level by also incorporating at least 100 rotations on a jump rope with every workout. While I know it feels like you don't have time to get it in, what I find is that now that my body is totally addicted to exercise I have zero choice. I cannot function with a clear mind through my day without a workout.
This was an interesting space for me. While I've always been a very healthy eater ... there were things that I was doing to undermine my healthy eating. I would eat larger portions than I needed, I would eat dinner and then snack on the leftovers right before bed, I would overdo the alcohol, I ate more dessert than I needed. So, in 2023 and 2024 I went on a personal journey to break my addiction to what I call STUPID carbs and calories. I realized that I am the kind of person who goes all-in on things. Meaning if I am going to have a donut for breakfast, I'll likely then eat something sugary later to follow it up. If I avoid that donut, I avoid the other stuff. I am okay with replacing that donut with something healthy, feeling full and fulfilled and skipping the donut entirely.
So, I worked on myself to kick alcohol, bread, and dessert to the curb. It was hard, but I did it in small steps and I will say I cannot tell you how rewarding this has been for me. My skin is the clearest it has ever been, my stomach never hurts anymore, and my workouts are amazing. My brain fog has also cleared. The only way I was able to do this was by replacing every temptation with something that was better for me: alcohol I replaced with mocktails, dessert I replaced with fruit or a cup of tea, the bread I replaced with eating more veggies or beans. There is a way to do this. It's not easy because the temptations are all around us.
Now, when my husband makes his martini I may have a sip but I don't ever have my own. I've just replaced it with something else. While that one drink is not too big of a deal, it leads to more drinking as well as splurging on food. I feel more in control without it. There have been missteps along the way. In Paris recently I went back to eating bread - no biggie, but the amount was too much for me. And, that's what I find is the most important thing to watch - portions sizes. I will add more about the eating soon, but for now know that the best guidelines are - more veggies in your day, get in that high quality olive oil, eat beans and lentils, lead with protein with your meals, and cut out snacking if you can.
There are so many little ways to reduce waste and what ends up in our landfills. Imagine if our trash is someone else's treasure? In 2024 I decided to start putting my small-business savings hat everywhere I saw small businesses in my neighborhood. While getting my pants hemmed at our amazing Lincoln Park-tailor (the best in Chicago and beyond) - Seams - I asked the owner if she knew of anyone that needed hangers. I was spring cleaning and wanted to get rid of a ton of a certain type of hangers that I had for 10 years, but wanted to replace.
Did you know that Salvation Army does not take hangers? What to do with two large boxes of hangers in perfect condition? Well, come to find out that the owner of Seams not only needs hangers, she needs safety pins - including all the ones that are connected to new clothes and tags, she can use small bags that seal at the top - like what you get from furniture stores with tiny items in them, she needs buttons, and she needs any kind of sewing supplies. Things that are cluttering up my home and that would likely simply end up in a pile of garbage. The owner was telling me that these donations help her small business save cost immensely.
NO MORE DISPOSABLES WITH TAKE OUT
One thing the city of Chicago has actually done well is to have restaurants ask if customers want napkins and utensils with takeout. I tell them I do NOT want either if I'm eating at home. It saves a lot of unnecessary trash and clutter.
COMPOST
This year, I paid for a pick up compost service. So, instead of throwing away kitchen scraps, I put them in a pail and they are picked up every two weeks. Even though I pay a small fee, it's worth it knowing these scraps are not added to the trash - and it's a lot - often about 30 pounds at a time (we eat a ton of produce and cook at home about ninety percent of our meals). The service we use is WASTENOT. The best for me and my busy schedule? No dirty/smelly composting projects in the house, which I've tried to do but have failed miserably at in the past.
COFFEE AT HOME
For so many years I was a post kid school drop-off coffee shop junkie. I only drink one Americano in my day - black/no sugar. But, a daily disposable cup adds up. In 2019 (it's really been that long) I decided to brew coffee at home in an old-fashioned drip style coffee maker. It's actually perfect and makes great coffee for me and my husband. We don't use the fancy machines because we don't drink fancier cups of coffee unless we are out for a splurge and get it in a mug - nor do I like that aspect of having to clean complicated coffee machines, which many folks don't think about.
I am considering a French Press moving forward that would eliminate the idea of pouring hot water into a plastic contraption and instead keep it all in glass. More on that soon - though my husband is raising an eyebrow to the idea.
LESS ONLINE SHOPPING
I get it - shopping online is so simple - ordering food and such. But, what about all the extra packaging? Boxes, inner stuffing, plastic wrap ... all of it adds up. Why it feels disingenuous when I hear the younger set going on about saving the planet without addressing their online shopping habit. In our home we rarely if ever order food online - I personally have never used online food apps. And, wherever I can, I try to support actual stores by stopping in and buying from them. If I need something quickly I'll shop on Amazon - but, if I can get over to a store and especially support a mom-and-pop business I absolutely will.
Eat them - more than ever the consensus is that at least one cup of legumes (beans, peas, or lentils) - or dal - in your day constitutes a very healthy and happy gut microbiome. I've never seen the West so excited about legumes - it used to be that they lumped them into the scary carb category. But, us in the Indian community knew different. Legumes are complex carbs that are loaded with fiber and are protein rich.
Join my Zoom Cooking Classes, grab some recipes from the website, or buy a book or two. Let's make 2025 the year that I truly help you make and eat legumes consistently in your home.
Stick with me into 2025 ... there is so much we are going to do together! And keep checking back to this post. I'll be adding more tips and tricks as well as links to my favorite YouTube videos with folks that are helping me to shape and change my life - slowly and steadily.
Keep in mind that I've been working on this for some time.
What are you looking to accomplish? Share them below so we can all help and hold one another accountable!
xoxo Anupy
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Patti
December 31, 2024
I’m so excited to crush my 2025 goals! Also, I definitely need to get back into reading and journaling.
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Indian As Apple Pie replied:
I love new beginnings … The goal is to feel this way on Feb 1 as well! Let’s do it! ________________________________